Narrative Shifting: From Insight to Integration
A Practical Guide to the Nine Steps of Narrative Shifting.
Five problems. Presumably, five solutions. Maybe.
From Chapter 1: a successful, dependable woman with five problems that look separate.
Why do we keep having the same argument?
Why am I anxious when I have enough?
Why am I always the one making the effort?
Why do I keep quitting plans that work?
Why does everything feel like it's up to me?
What if she doesn't have as many problems as she thinks she does?
Underneath those explanations is a question she may not say out loud: Why do I keep doing this? And perhaps a harsher one: What's wrong with me?
Responsible people take care of things.
The story that helped get you here may not be the story that can get you there.
Knowing better and living differently are two different things.
This is a trap bright people often fall into.
Insight says: I understand this.
Integration says: I live differently because I understand this.
- You can know
Other people's happiness is not my responsibility
and spend your days trying to keep everybody happy. - You can know
My worth isn't determined by my productivity
and feel guilty whenever you aren't accomplishing something. - You can know
I have enough
and arrange your financial life as though disaster is always around the corner. - And you can know
My best years can still be ahead of me
and keep living as if they’re behind you.
At some point, the question has to change from What do I know? to What am I actually living?
Ten chapters, from the first question to the last step.
- Chapter 1
What if everything isn't separate?
Maybe the plan isn't the problem
- Chapter 2
What if you stopped working on problems?
A weed-free garden isn't necessarily a flourishing garden
- Chapter 3
Knowing better isn't living differently.
Insight is not integration.
- Chapter 4
Your story doesn't feel like a story.
It feels like reality.
- Chapter 5
Where are you trying to go?
Without a destination, you can't know if you're off course.
- Chapter 6
What does your life say?
Your behavior may know something you don't.
- Chapter 7
This part isn't supposed to feel good.
Don't replace the “OLD” story yet.
- Chapter 8
How will you know you have changed?
Your GPS doesn't judge you.
- Chapter 9
What happens next still belongs to you.
She kept showing up
- Chapter 10
Knowing the formula isn't the work.
Become the person who can meet whatever comes next.
The nine steps
- PURPOSEWhere am I trying to go?
- TRUTHWhere am I now?
- CHOOSEWhich narrative will I work on?
- OLDWhat story has been organizing this?
- EXPERIENCEWhere has that story taken me?
- NEWWhat is true and believable enough to live from instead?
- PLANWhat will I actually do?
- LOGWhat happened?
- RECALIBRATEWhat did I learn, and what will I try next?
A plan identifies behavior that someone else could observe. I often use a video camera as the test.
I'm going to value myself more.
A camera cannot see that.
If I believed this enough to live from it today, what would I do differently?
The full exercise, and all nine steps, are in the guide.
Send me the free guideAbout Dr. Helmrich
Dr. Helmrich has spent more than five decades asking what actually helps people change.
- Clinical psychologist since 1991
- Ph.D., Georgia State University
- Residency, UVA Medical School
- Creator of StoryFORMULA
- Founder of Shrink ’n’ Drink
Narrative Shifting: From Insight to Integration
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